How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

c+t+c?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops