Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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feces

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Chuck Norris.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Thanks

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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Where's my tractor?

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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