Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Smart Blondes

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Matt Damon

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Dick spice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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