Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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asian drivers.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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