Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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How many dislikes can this get?

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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