Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Women's rights...

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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