Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Nobody cares.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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knock knock go away ok

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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69

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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