Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Thanks

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Chuck Norris.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Where's my tractor?

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Nice weather we're having.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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