Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Women's Rights

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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