haha, you're an orphan

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What abou three times

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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The Irish man was sober.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How did th-A fridge.

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Penis-Pump

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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