Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

"Up to 50% off."

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

ugh good riddance

A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Why? Because!

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

what do you say when you see a winner weaner

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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