knock knock go away ok

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Women's rights

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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