what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is smelly and sticky A poo

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -74

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

you know what hurts.... PAIN

thumb_up thumb_down +51

penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops