What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

thumb_up thumb_down +21

gay rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did i fall? i got pushed!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Can you see this brett? Connor

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That's Racist

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops