Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Smart Blondes

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Dick spice

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George Bush.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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