What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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What's a small person? A midget

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Women's Sports

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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