Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

b

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ha

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops