What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

Turn around.

a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

Hello

What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

alston wang

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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