A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

Women Voting

whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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