Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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who farted your mother

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Canada

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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