Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Gadaffi

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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