Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

why is liam baldy because his dad is too

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

Your mother is a man.

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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