I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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