Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Knock knock What

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Women Voting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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