A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Women's football

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Women's Sports

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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