What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Garry Glitters on here

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Womens Rights.

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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