How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

Knock knock Who's there My dick

I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

Whats worst than getting screwed. Your mother

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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