Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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Woman's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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