Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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