im a selling a car

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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Sonic

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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