Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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