Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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Romney 2012

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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oh hiya come in

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save water shower with friends

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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