There's no "i" in tim.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Black Veil Brides.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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Japan called... They need help.

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Penis-Pump

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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