What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

guess what chicken butt

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

Knock knock What

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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