I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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women

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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22

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Ass

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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