2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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Men's rights.

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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