So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a computer and a television?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

thumb_up thumb_down +10

JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops