What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Halo < COD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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