Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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21

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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