What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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