Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Matty B

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops