q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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Hi Shelby!!

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops