What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

Jared Gough is a slut

Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

Knock knock What

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...