Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops