Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Rock mattress.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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Lebron Traveled

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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monkey sponge

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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