Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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