What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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What happened to the Jew when he heard about the concentration camps being erected all over Germany? Nothing immediately. Then he and his family went into hiding where they were later discovered, taken to concentration camps and died along with millions of other Jews.

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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