RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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What's dead? Your mum.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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I have no ideas.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Pickles

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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