I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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69

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Women's rights

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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