What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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