stop it ryan vallee

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

What's brown and sticky? Poo

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

a catholic priest and a young boy

like for a handjob.

hey

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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