knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Black Veil Brides.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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