Do you need any assistance?

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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anne hatthaway

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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What do you eat when you watch porn? Corn

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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poop

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops