What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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YOLO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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