Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Japan called... They need help.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What's dead? Your mum.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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I have no ideas.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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