The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Turn around.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

lick my ballsack.... ok

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

thumb_up thumb_down

What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops