An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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Blarg

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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cory is gay

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What is next?

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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