Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

What looks like half an apple? The other half.

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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