What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the difference between a battery and a charger

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops